Doesn’t make a lot of sense, huh? …. two and a half years and I STILL don’t know whether to be committed to him or let him go?! Well, let me explain….
We started dating two years and a half ago, and just like any couple things evolved. We got into the more serious phase, started getting pet peaves and what not, but we usually figured it out. Last winter, we’d gone through a rather rough patch arguing a lot and I just wasn’t sure that this was what I wanted anymore. Many of the things I appreciate about Alex are his kindness, his strength and his calm… qualities that weren’t coming out anymore during this difficult period.
…So I broke up with him. He asked if we could keep dating even while we dated other people on the side though, and I agreed. Funny enough, our relationship got much better after that. Spending less time together and doing more things with other friends (and dates sometimes) turned out to be a good thing for us. When I moved to Paris, it seemed natural to keep going the same way we had been.
The truth is that this has been a really good arrangement for me. I care about him deeply and would have been sad to lose him in my life, even if our relationship wasn’t going so well. At the same time though, I’m not sure at all that he’s the one for me. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure I even know what I need or like. I’m still learning. I feel like I won’t be able to settle down unless I take them time to experiment. I don’t want to feel like I missed out or wonder about what-ifs later. Once I settle down and get married, I want to make sure I’ll be happy and this is a step in that journey.
It seems like there are a lot of rather unsavory views of open relationships, so I wanted to share my version/take. What do you think? Ever had a similar experience?
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