I have noticed an abundance of PDA. Just last night I took a ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower at King’s Island. It was a beautiful, clear night. As I looked down and watched the water fountains dance with color, I heard a noise to my left that resembled the sound of a child sucking down the last drops of a milkshake. To my surprise, it was a young couple engaging in reverse CPR.
Lately, I had begun to wonder if I was overreacting to people involved in public lip-lock and body-Braille because I am a relationship columnist. But as I questioned friends, colleagues and readers, I found that they, too, had noticed peoples’ increasing openness in public.
What I am sensing is that people are generally sick of PDA and wish that others would learn to temper themselves. I couldn’t agree more. When I think of PDA, I envision a couple of high school teens groping each other by the bathrooms and pay phones at a mall or an athletic event (like they were ever there to shop or watch the game in the first place). But lately, I have seen it all, and the PDA has transcended all ages.
One couple of thirty-somethings sharing the same side of a booth in a restaurant, were so heavily engaged in the throws of passion, that a family of four (with two small children) left before their dinner had arrived. Another couple (in their mid 20s) while taking in a Red’s game, was attempting to discover just how inconspicuously they could maneuver their hands under the clothing of the other. Now granted, Reds games are boring, but this is still unacceptable.
These situations are examples of inappropriate PDA. Onlookers despise it. Participants revel in it. These moments are awkward for the observers who must endure them, and embarrassing for the “lusting” couples as well. Unfortunately, those lusting are so focused on their own self-gratification that they are oblivious to the atmosphere they have created.
A common thought I entertain is that if people go to these extremes in public, imagine what they must do in private. Their private lives are none of our business. Similarly, their physical relationships shouldn’t infringe on our lives. We shouldn’t have to encourage them to “get a room,” skip out on a wonderful meal or turn our heads at a ballgame in order to accommodate them. A very poor message is sent to children when teens and adults go too far in public. If these people truly respected one another, they would think before they acted and would not let body parts other than their brain do their thinking for them.
There is appropriate PDA. Romantic hand-holding, walking arm-in-arm or a brief, affectionate kiss. A loving smile. A private message whispered into a loved one’s ear. Opening doors for one another. This type of affection is charming, tolerable and endearing. An elderly couple exhibiting tenderness can warm our hearts and provide hope for our future.
PDA comes down to acts of lust versus terms of endearment. We simply ask to be spared the public mauling, grunting, slurping and groping. When we find ourselves in the mood to view such behavior, we can always tune into the Jerry Springer Show.
David Coleman, The Dating Doctor
Dating And Relationships Expert
2011 Entertainer of the Year
Don’t forget to set trints for your friends today. You never know what will happen! Set trints now.
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